Getting engaged to be married can be so excited! and for some it can be so overwhelming. The first thing everyone will want to know is WHEN are you getting married and WHERE will it be. All of a sudden you begin to feel behind even though you're just getting started. So you decide its time to get the ball rolling and visit some sites and maybe a few coordinators while you're at it.
here are a few tips for you:
1.take notes!... of everything you like; questions you were left with; and what you didn't like. It'll help you make your decision when you're back home. Because 5-10 sites is a lot to take in! you'll begin to jumble together your memories and the different impressions you got. Also, have someone take a photo of you where the ceremony would be so you'll get an idea of what the photos & guest's point of view might be.
2. sites - before you go, make a list of must haves; do you want to serve hard alcohol? do you want to shuttle people in (is there big enough space for buses)? Do you have elderly (is it handicap accessible? are there lots of stairs or walking involved?)? how many bathrooms are there (will there be a long line of people all night?)? is there a private space for you and your bridal party to dress or change or get away for a few moments? does it fit your budget? What are the available dates? (if you want candles everywhere but this site only has July dates left for Sunday afternoons, you probably won't have any candles!)
*Make sure you have this list handy because you might fall in love with a site that doesn't meet your criteria, and then you're stuck. Try not to compare the sites as they're all so different - code for don't fall in love with what won't work. And allow enough time to talk about your impressions before going off to the next spot. You might both have a totally different view of the site. And remember that the bottom line, is the bottom line. If it doesn't fit the budget, its OK to move on... no one will ever know what you passed on.
3. planners/coordinators - have a good idea of where you need help. If you have no idea, be honest to your self about that. And then ask how they can be of help to you. Make sure to listen to concrete thoughts, not just fluff words like "I will make sure everything is amazing. It's gonna be out of this world! I can totally read you, and will create a dream come true."... Even I'd love to hear all that, but what does it translate to?? Ask for concrete items of what they do. Find out if the coordinator is a planner vs. a coordinator = here is a story about a planner - Some people dream big; paint an amazing visual for you, and can get you really excited about the possibilities. I just heard about a couple who with just 3 months before their wedding were feeling overwhelmed. So they hired "an amazing planner" who quickly decided that they needed to add a few chandeliers to their outdoor venue for dramatic lighting, thought the dancing area would look better in photos for their dinner, and had the dancing where the dining usually takes place, and she decided to change their shuttles to 1 bus as it would be more fun to have bigger crowds on the bus at one time. Unfortunately, although the planner had done a walk thru with the couple, she didn't work with the other vendors or the site to get their opinions. The couple ended up spending $3k more for lighting that was never used as their wedding was in July and the wedding ended at 9pm (the sun was just setting when it was all over!). The dinner was so jammed packed with guests because the space was too tight for the number of guests they had. And the dancing wasn't fun as people were supposed to dance on the grass because the site wouldn't allow a dance floor on their lawn ($1200 wasted!), not to mention that the 1-56 pax bus couldn't fit under the permanent awning so the guests actually had to walk down the street a ways, in the dark because it was the only place the bus could fit! - Now believe me when I say that I don't mean a planner can't work some place new (I do it all the time :-)). But I talk to other vendors about their experiences there, I speak to the site, and I trouble shoot all of the what ifs.
So in comparison, a coordinator is a person who executes the plans - yours or theirs. Not everyone can do this well... some folks get stressed out, and hence stress you or the families out. Some have others on their teams to do this part of it.Coordinating isn't always so glamorous, so you need to know if they're willing to do the dirty work too. They also need to get along with all of the vendors - they are the back stage directors, not the stars... so know what you're getting when you sign on that dotted line. If they have the nickname of "Sargent" or the "Colonel" these aren't really good things!
So ask:
-how long they've been doing this work (you'd be surprised how many people jump in when they've lost their job some place else)... and these days anyone can build a great web site.
- how they got into the business (some had so much fun planning their own wedding! Doesn't mean they can plan yours)
- and give them a few nightmare scenarios and listen to their answers. How fast can they think on their feet?
- don't buy into any vendor that makes you feel pressure (oh my, you're getting started really late! or You mean you haven't hired a ____ yet? you better start right away! (remember this person is supposed to make you feel better, not worse!)
- what areas are they experienced in? what's their specialty?
whats their favorite part of the job/experience?
- most importantly - how do they feel to you?? This person, on your wedding day, will be around you a lot! does their voice irritate you? are they too bossy? are they too quiet? Are they a little quirky? Are they a bit gruff? Only you know what feels right to you. And this is the only position where it really matters - (well your photographer too). And believe me, I've met plenty of brides who once we get to chatting I refer them to someone else because I know we're not a good fit...
So just a few things to think about!... good luck!!!
