Pros vs. Cons

Everyone knows someone who is a DJ, florist, photographer, or some other wedding vendor. The question is "When do you hire a friend?"
Its really important that you be honest with yourself about your expectations before you speak to any friend about them working for you at your wedding. Do you expect their complete professionalism, giving you the same, if not more attention than their other clients? Are you paying them, or expecting it for free?

I hear there are professional vendors out there who will work just as hard for their friend's events even if they're not getting paid - but I have yet to meet one. Evey time there is a friend, in the back of my mind I'm hearing "oh no." If you have your friend who, lets say, is a photographer, and you tell them to just have fun and enjoy the wedding - don't be surprised when they're at the bar getting a drink, mingling, or maybe putting down the camera after the cake has been cut. Did they get all the shots you wanted? How could they when you didn't give them a list because you didn't want to seem so pushy, and well "they know what they're doing, right?"

I once worked with a DJ who was a guest. Somehow every time I needed him to make an announcement he was no where to be found (yes, he had a copy of the time line). And even though it was a smaller wedding (75), and was friends with many of the guests, he decided to be casual and not use the mic. Instead, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled things like " ok guys, they're gonna cut the cake, so go over there so these table can get taken away" or "its time for some people to say stuff - you know the drill" for toast time. At the end of the night when I told him it was time for their last dance, he said he was playing the last song - they hadn't discussed a formal last dance/goodbye/send off song... so no announcement, nothing. The couple just went around and sheepishly said good bye to a few people and just left - no fan fare or anything. so I gathered up a group standing near the door and told them that we were going to walk them to their town car and we gave them the send off you would expect.

Your DJ isn't just the guy who's playing the songs, he is the emcee - the entertainment. With out that, there isn't much excitement, anticipation, magic.
So know what you're getting yourself into. Friend or not, if you want their full service you should consider paying their full fee. If they offer a discount, or to do it for free let them know you appreciate their offer, but that you want to be "just like any of your other couples." Perhaps you still get the discounts, but it'll set you up for having all of the meetings and phone calls to go over details like they do every other time. 'Cause at the end of the (wedding) day, your coordinator can put out tons of "fires," but we can't (make you a new cake, take the photos, sing your 1st song, ask for a do over on your intro as husband and wife, or remake the pasta) do it all ... unless we know ahead of time ;-)