To plan the small, simple, yet elegant affair, you'll be working with a catering company's sales team who will assign their team of 8+ servers, 2 bartenders, 3 chefs, 3 kitchen crew, and an event manager (more or less). Your music can be played by 1 DJ, or a string quartet (4), + a live band 4-10; or maybe just an ipod with a play list that your friends create for you. What about your centerpieces? I know you'd like to keep it simple, just a few personal flowers, and a small arrangement on every table... so that's about 4 in house to arrange, 2 buyers at the wholesale market, and 2 to deliver. Think about all the other services you'll be contacting and then working with for your special day. there are a lot of people working for your celebration. Up to 30 on site. Have you thought about them? What do you think about them?
When planning your wedding, little things can make a big difference in how your team will treat 'your day.' Please and Thank You still go a long way. A kind, sweet bride is someone everyone is willing to take a call from. And how about a little small talk (if they have the time for it). oh, and don't forget to ask about their office days/hours. - It seems I always hear about this one. "I left a message on Saturday, and now its Monday and I still haven't heard back. They must not want my business." Think about it this way... Friday I'm focused on Saturday's wedding; Saturday I'm not taking any calls or messages that don't have to do with that days event (which is what you want to happen on your wedding day!); Sunday there may be another wedding or a follow up event; Monday I hope to have a day off; Tuesday I'd love to have another day off, but am most likely reviewing the upcoming weekend's schedule and listening to messages; Wednesday in office and returning calls - hopefully. Thursday answering more calls, emails, site visits, etc. So please don't get offended or think that they don't want your business. Of course they do, that's why you've heard of them in the first place. And please, always be civil. All the way to the end. Even kind and sweet. Vendors love to recommend great clients to other vendors in hopes of creating what we think is that 'dream team.' - We're lucky if we get that opportunity once a year.
Now the flip side of that kind, sweet bride isn't always the "Bridezilla." Sometimes its the bride that you feel took advantage of you, played you. The worst thing you can do is to be nice and kind all throughout the planning and the event, and as soon as the guests are gone all hell breaks loose. If you're gonna fake it to get people to do more for you, do it until you drive off at the end of the night. You see, wedding vendors are a special breed. We are hopeful; helpless romantics, always wanting to see the true love in a couple. Its almost as if we fall in love with your love. As if by being near you, a little bit rubs off on us, and we get to bring it home. So when this removing of the kid gloves happens, they can feel betrayed. And I am not speaking of the bride who breaks down due to the stress she's been feeling during the planing, showers, and get togethers.- we're used to that. we see that all the time. Its the bride who finally lets her true colors shine through. Its the one who shows her claws that can blow you away.
Let me share a story with you... not that long a go, I had a chance to work with a Mattel couple. You know the one - Barbie and Ken. they're the couple that look like models, are so kind and inviting, have amazing life experiences, probably met in the peace corps or on some mission helping to bring shoes or glasses to Guatemala. And they have the best love story right? And of course he hijacks her (just after their mission is over) to Paris for 3 weeks where he proposes, not on the Eiffel Tower, but across from it so she can have it in her sights as he drops down on 1 knee with a 3 carat ring - on loan of course, so that she may go back later and pick out the one that really makes her happy. anyway, everything is perfect about them. And so is their wedding day. Or so I thought. At the end of this night I hear the bride screaming. She is totally going off at the DJ. And how his boss is going to hear from her. Shes going on really loudly, and I'm packing up her gifts and guest book. I quickly move toward her, and sadly, I can see that her family is quickly scattering about. At that moment it becomes clear that this isn't the stress release I mentioned earlier. This bride grabs her guest book, looks around and asks "why am I still here? I paid a lot of money for this wedding and why don't I have a drink in my hand? You've all dropped the ball on this one. You'll be hearing from me!" Then she points at the winery owner (who she's never met) and orders him to "bring my dress bag out to the car" and storms out. You could almost read the thought bubbles above every one's head as the sound of cricket's grew louder. We were all frozen in place. You see, in that instant, she took everyone on her Dream team from relishing in the aftermath of a great event, to feeling like some low, underpaid servant who wonders why they give up their weekends to be at your wedding. And let me tell you that's all it takes.
One moment like that can change everything. That's how quickly prices get raised, and good vendors retire. That's how quickly the discount you were going to be given because the event "was like being at a party" for lets say the photographer, or the caterer who wasn't going to charge you for those 2 extra guests, now says to their staff "forget that B----!", and takes home the 'go away' basket that they were going to gift you. They've worked hard. They are exhausted. And no one was out to get you. They were all there, all 30 +/- to make you look good. That's all. We are in the service industry. We love to help and to serve...
So what was the problem? I asked everyone; the DJ, the caterers, the bartenders, and no one seems to know. The groom just shrugs and smiles sheepishly, and walks out. Everyone is stunned. Finally I see her little sister who is quickly gathering the bride's shoes and that dress bag and I approach her. See its my job to make sure everything is OK, or try to make it that way. So I question the sister. She is almost afraid to tell me, so I'm thinking this is huge. A wedding nightmare. My wedding nightmare. turns out, that the bride's father had requested a song and the DJ played it. Whats the problem with that, you ask? It was that this was the song that the groom's parents had danced to at their wedding, and the groom had wanted to use it for their first dance too. But the bride decided against it. That's it. Nothing more. Who could have seen this coming? How do you plan for that? Dj's will ask what your 1st dance will be to, but they don't ask how many other songs were considered, or rejected. And if its not on your 'don't play' list, why wouldn't he? Especially if the FOB requests it. - I was shocked. Pure disbelief. She was gone.
After months of planning, calls that lasted hours, listening to her thoughts that she couldn't share with her friends. No thank yous. Not to the caterer, the staff, or me. And not even a goodbye. Not to anyone. What about those tips that I'm supposed to divvy up with the groom? gone. But I guess I could say there was 1 sign. A tiny one... earlier in the day there was a question as to the front of the cake - it was really exactly the same on all sides, but you look all around just to make sure. That's when the mother of the groom walked in and asked what we were doing. When I explained she simply said "if its not perfect, She'll go ballistic." What? huh?
I'm sure that this bride will have forgotten all about that one moment. But that moment and that bride will be remembered by all on her team - always. Simply because they were all servers, not servants.
So like any movie or event, its always the beginning and end that stays in your mind. Such is the same with a wedding, and the bride...
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